"I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand" ~Confucius

Hey there,

It's been just over a week since I've been home, and I thought I'd check in one more time before signing off. Getting re-acclimated was much harder than I anticipated, and it's been a long, emotional, and spacey week for me! I've had my good days and bad days, mindful to be gentle with myself as I mourn an experience that was so near to my heart. I think the hardest thing has been realizing that I most likely will never see most of the people again whom where a large part of my life this past month. From the children at the orphanage to the nurses, CCS staff members, and volunteers. I know this will take some time.

Sharon, my CCS Morocco Program Manager, said something that I thought was eternally wise. I was telling her how I was reminding myself that just because the experience is over doesn't mean you can continue to learn and grow from it. She remarked that maybe the sad part that you go through once home is also part of the experience. How true is that?! It's the part of the experience that we would prefer to do without, but that may be necessary to ensure the experience affects us in ways we remember and continue to grow from.

So I'm doing just that. Mourning what was in Morocco, and learning how to somehow inter mesh my experience in Morocco with my day-to-day life back here in the States. Learning how to continue to move on without forgetting. I'm not sure if Morocco changed who I am but instead helped me validate and get back to parts of what I've wanted to be. Not sure if that makes any sense :)

So much more happened than what I could ever write in a blog or express through my photos. I'd love to go out and grab coffee with those who want to hear more. If you yourself are interested in volunteering with CCS, I highly recommend it! You can find more information on their website, and feel free to contact me with any questions as well.

And now, what many of you have been asking for.... PHOTOS! 475 of my favorites, to be exact. As you know, photos were not allowed at the orphanage and therefore it is only a compilation of my travels and free time outside of volunteering. My parents want to have a "show and tell" night sometime in October where we'll have dessert and I'll go through a slideshow with more explanation of the photos, so stay tuned for that!

Until then, b'salaama (goodbye), and shokran (thank you) for all of your prayers, support, and encouragement.

Moroccan Madness: A Month in Pictures

America- land of free toilet paper

Ah, home sweet 52* and pouring rain home… Seriously, America is COLD!

I got home safely after 22 hours of travel. My bags decided to have a sleepover in New York, but thankfully I am back where there’s clean underwear for such events!

Some things that I’ve been shockingly reminded of regarding the States:

-There’s toilet paper in public bathrooms… and you don’t even have to pay for it! Did I mention you also get to flush it instead of throwing it away in the garbage?! Simply amazing!

-People wear tank tops and short skirts. Out in public. And no one looks at them. Except for me, ‘cause they look pretty darn naked after seeing such…”fully dressed”… women in Morocco

-I went to Starbucks today (personal high-five!), and there were women sitting in there. Not only were they eating and drinking in public, but they were sitting in the café enjoying themselves. Such a shock after seeing so many cafes full of only men, all facing the road and ready and rearing to gossip about whatever passes.

-Cars, somehow by something of a miracle, actually stay in their lanes. They don’t travel to and from one lane to the other, don’t form additional lanes that don’t exist, and policemen actually pull people over for not wearing seatbelts. By the time I was in a car for the third time today, I even remembered to wear my seatbelt (another personal high-five!)!

-While I saw more fights in Morocco than I’ve ever seen, Moroccans are definitely friendlier than Americans are. There isn’t an unwritten rule that you don’t talk to strangers; everyone seems to talk to everyone and it was a shock to get to America and realize that here people have these invisible bubbles that they don’t really want popped.

So that’s the crazy stuff. I don’t mean it as a bash toward Morocco by any means; it’s just a different way of living. I’ve got so much going through my head and so much to process that I know it will be days if not weeks before I have my bearings again. I woke up at 3:00 AM this morning pondering life’s biggest questions and unable to sleep with questions like, “How do I come back without forgetting?” and, “Why is it that some people are blessed with opportunities that others never even get the chance to see?” You know, the little stuff.

I went to church this morning, which was something that I really missed when I was gone. Pastor Ryan spoke about going all in when sharing your beliefs. He mentioned the question, “What does your life say about you? What is its message?” It would be so easy for me to write off volunteering due to my busy schedule of work and school. But that’s where my passion is, and that’s what I believe God wants me to be doing. Ryan also spoke about how easy it is for us to feel like we’re constantly unfulfilled, but that it’s impossible to do so when we rarely empty out what we already have. Like adding water to a water bottle that is already filled to the brim, it’s impossible to gain more when you’re not giving out what you already have.

My goal is to pour out what I have, no matter how big or how small. I have no idea when and if I’ll be able to do another trip like this (although I would in an absolute heartbeat, and already have my mind set on Tanzania!), but my hope is to continue volunteering in ways that I can. I also hope to share Christ’s love through my life, just as He has loved me. Gosh, it’s so much easier said than done, but it is a good goal, right?

So back to reality, mindful of what I’ve learned from a culture unlike anything I’ve experienced. I’m already homesick for Morocco and ready to get back! It was seriously a trip of a lifetime, and I feel so blessed that I was not only able to do this, but that I was able to do it in Morocco with CCS. I couldn’t have been more impressed.

Stay tuned for pictures, and thank you for all of your support!!

B’Salaama :)

B'Salaama... (Goodbye)

So much to pack and so little time to blog!

Today was the last hurrah. It most definitely hasn’t sunk in yet that I will never see those kids again, as well as many of my new friends here. As I kissed each kid goodnight at nap time and headed out the door, I somehow forgot that it was my last day. It was a blessing in disguise though, as I know they would have dragged me out kicking and screaming.

I guess there’s still time for that at the airport!

In all seriousness, I’m very very sad to be leaving. This has become my home, my oasis, and my place to use my passion for working with children that are less fortunate. As I was packing up, I caught myself saying, “Well, back to the real world.”

Yet as I think about it, this is the real world. It doesn’t get any more real than the poverty, anguish, hard work, and sorrow I’ve seen. It also doesn’t get any more real than the laughter I’ve shared, the love that those little kids heartlessly hand to you, and the joy I’ve found within my heart.

This is life. It doesn’t have to be cookie cutter. There is no race. No one is perfect, and striving to become so will lead you nowhere. Sure, it has its ups and downs. And YES, I am still coming home (without a Moroccan baby, even). But I pray to God that I won’t lose my passion to be with these kids. That I will forever be reminded of what I saw, and that I will never, ever get comfortable in a life that is without meaning.

“Greater things have yet to come,

Greater things are still to be done here…”

This isn’t the end. It is just the beginning!

Monica

Hello! I am feeling much better today, and despite being weak and very sore, all is well. Praise God! Unfortunately, another girl came down with the stomach thing last night, and an additional girl is nauseous. Will you please pray that everyone feels better before their trek to the Sahara Desert tomorrow? I’m all about sharing, but I feel awful about sharing this thing!

I was so happy to be back at the orphanage today. It hit me just how much I’m going to miss my new kiddos and the routine that I have come to know so well. I wanted to share with you today about a wonderful woman whom I have had the chance to get to know.

Monica is a woman from Spain whom I have seen in the playground with two little boys since I have been here. I was mesmerized watching her contagious smile and constant energy as she ran around with two (very fast) toddlers. I came to learn that she has come to adopt a little boy in the toddler class that I volunteer in. “S” is about 16 months old I believe, and a total delight to be around. In addition to S, her friend from Spain is also adopting a little boy! “M” is older at 20 months, and he is much more quiet and reserved, but very sweet nonetheless.

For the past month, Monica has come to the orphanage every single day, seven days a week, both morning and evening. The only time she leaves is when they go down for a nap, and she is always in charge of both boys when she is there. They eagerly await her arrival in the morning and cling to her throughout the day. She’s one of those people that radiates positive energy, and all the kids love her (Heck, all the volunteers and nurses love her too... )! Monica has moved to Morocco temporarily as she patiently waits for the adoptions to be finalized. She feeds them, loves on them, and even helps out in the other rooms once they have gone to sleep.

Her goal is to have the boys’ home by the end of October. This would mean the process would have taken a year from beginning to end, and you can see the excitement in her eyes as she and her husband continue to make tiny steps toward their goal of finally having a family. Unfortunately, so many things could still go wrong, and it’s never a 100% guarantee until the child is in your arms and you’re heading out the gate of the orphanage. There are visa problems, questions if they really are Muslim (which they are!), and the never-ending paperwork that continues to come out of the woodwork. It’s great to know that Morocco is so entrusted to the well-being of their children and that they want to be as thorough as possible. However, I can only imagine how exhausting it is to have the question of “if” in the back of your mind as you fall in love with a sweet little soul!

And that she does. She chases those boys around, loves on them like they’ve never been loved, and dreams of what is to come at home. I joked with her that, because trash has been the only toys they’ve known, she needs to go out and buy a bunch of candy and leave only the wrappers on their bedroom floors so they’ll feel at home. Candy wrappers or all of Toys R Us, I know these boys are in good hands. It’s so heartening to know that these boys will forever be taken care of by people that love them very very much.

Tomorrow is my last day at the orphanage. This glimmer of hope that some of these children will be adopted means the world to me, and is helps me to leave on a hopeful note.

Yet even more so, I know it means the world to them. For that, I am grateful for people like Monica.

Oh, Morocco...

Why must we have such a love-hate relationship?

I woke up vomiting in the middle of the night and preceded to get sick five times. I made myself a nice little bed on the floor of the bathroom as I couldn’t get up without getting sick; sleeping on shared bathroom floors are the BEST.

Ah, Morocco.

Who knows what the cause was for the latest debacle; I’m the only one that’s sick and I’m praying its food poisoning and not the flu that my 18 closest friends and housemates could catch! Right before their Sahara Desert trip, mind you. I won’t mention the fact that I haven’t eaten anything different than my 18 new friends, but… but…. I want to have food poisoning and not be another contaminator! Or be a host of parasites as I’ve had stomach issues almost my whole time here!

EHHHH, Morocco!

Look on the bright side, though. If I got sick tomorrow, I would have missed Sandwich Thursday! I would miss Whole Fried Fish Wednesday over Sandwich Thursday any day. Or be contaminated on my flight home on Saturday. Yeah, it could be worse!

As a recently retired nurse (from Ballard, nonetheless!) who is in the group said, "Guess we’ll find out in 24 hours if it’s the flu or food poisoning!"

I’ll keep you posted,

Pukey

PS- No need to leave on a bad note. Here are some pictures from the last couple of days…

My new best friend, Laila. Isn't she a doll?! She is one of the housekeepers here at HomeBase and has been taking care of me when I'm not feeling well. I just love her!

Yeah, I'm a wee bit taller than her

This is at the local grocery store, the Acima. Trader Joes- if you're reading this, let's give this awesome spice section a whirl in the States!

Deep theological and cultural discussions outside on the terrace with Mohammed. Definitely a favorite time in my day.

The neighborhood mosque last night after evening prayer. Isn't it beautiful?