Well, today was a much better day at the orphanage. The kids didn’t bite each other (as much as yesterday), run away (as much as yesterday), or pull my hair (as much as yesterday). In fact, the Wicked Witch of the West (WWW) wasn’t there either. (Editor’s Note: Yes, you got it, this is going to be a super inspirational post! :::insert sarcasm here:::: )
Allow me to back up, in all seriousness. Yesterday at the orphanage was awful. I arrived with a smile on my face and enough Kleenex and hand sanitizer for an army, and was told to go into a specific room (the people with disabilities didn’t need help this week). When the head mistress walked me in the nurse of the room started yelling in Arabic that she didn’t want me, motioning with her hands with all her might that I was not welcome and not needed. They got into a bit of a fight and the head mistress persisted that she wanted me in there. I quickly shuffled into the small dark room she had the kids in, and was told to sit down. Around me were 12 boys ages 3-5, and many of them ran up to me yelling “Mama!” Each child that got close to me was hit several times by thw nurse, as her goal was to have them stay seated on the bench. She proceeded to randomly hit and throw kids against the hard ceramic tiled wall if they were pushed off the bench or did anything to annoy her. A few minutes later someone was asked to come in and tend to bleeding heads on the same children, and I’m assuming it was from being thrown against the wall. Twelve super cute kiddos all crying at the same time in this small dark room and cowering behind every possible piece of furniture to be spared of her wrath was way too much, and I’m sorry to say it didn’t improve for the 4 hours I was there. Actually, there was one point when I was bouncing kids on my legs to keep them from crying and she yelled no at me and told me to go sit on the bench myself…. All the while I was thinking, this is SO not what I signed up for!!
I got into the van at the end of the first day and burst into tears. I was not only overwhelmed by her anger and hostility towards these helpless children, but the conditions they had in comparison to so many of the children I know at home. These kids’s only toys are all the garbage strewn about the playground, many of them ecstatic when they could find a random bottle cap, exploded battery, empty chip bag, and even glass (which I was NOT having!!). Working with the older boys, I also knew it was unlikely that they were going to be adopted, and the thought of them being virtuously institutionalized for the remained of their childhood just totally broke my heart. They craved attention in any and every form, begging to be loved and recognized. To think of all the kids at home have and the nothingness that overwhelms these children’s lives, it was overwhelming. I basically cried the rest of the day.
To be honest, I was really not looking forward to going today. I had gone into this with a high and mighty attitude that, “Sure, it’ll be hard, but I have so much experience with kids! I do it for a living! I’ll be just fine.” The thought of going back to something so overwhelming was not appealing whatsoever, but there was no way in hell I wasn’t going to go back. Today when I showed up there were different nurses and the mood was SO much more positive. Yes, the nurses were still stern and the head one had a wooden stick she would slap the kids with when they didn’t listen, but it wasn’t anything near the WWW. The kids were actually more mindful today, and I was finally able to experience their smiles, laughter, and contagious child-like ways without feeling like I was going to be put in time out. The sadness of the conditions was still there today, as was the typical three-year-old-boy-syndrome of throwing everything from feces to sand. That said, I hope to God that I don’t forget my frustration with their way of life as well as my passion to continue to fight and work with children such as these that need voices.
Another volunteer was flabbergasted when I told her the conditions of my first day. She suggested I speak to Mohamed, the director of the program over here, to make sure that he was aware of the situation. He too was surprised by the actions of the WWW nurse, and after some thought and discussion, told me that he will be coming in with me tomorrow. He was persistent that I switch rooms and get out of that situation, but I would prefer to give her one more shot in hopes that she was just having a really rotten day. I’m wary of having my program director coming in and playing Superman, as I don’t want to step on any toes. However, that is exactly what CCS is here for though, so we’ll see what happens.
This afternoon we had a class/discussion on Morocco, some of its history, and discussed plans for our upcoming weekend trips. It was so interesting learning more about the economical conditions of Morocco. The unemployment rate is 16-17% here, changing radically depending on crops and the weather and what work is available. The statistics are staggering, but I would prefer to play it safe on a public blog while here and share my findings when I’m back on home soil ;) As for weekend trips, we are headed to the Sahara Desert this Friday! I am super stoked and will be sure to let you know all about it.
For now, here are a few pics from the medina and the Kasbah des Oudaia yesterday. G’night!
PS- I just changed it so anyone can comment!
Wow! I am hoping the first day will be your worst! I can't even imagine what that would be like! Big hugs to you and stay strong!
ReplyDeleteLove Mom